Margot | one month in
December is over, the holidays passed, and we are over one month in. I thought that maybe having a newborn and staying home for the holidays meant it would go slower. In some ways I was right, but I also have no idea where the time went.
I got sucked in watching one of those Facebook videos. It was about sleep deprivation, so I already could relate. I’m not sure how true, but it was about how your brain can’t store new memories when it’s running on little sleep.
I feel that way, and maybe that’s why they call it the newborn haze. Because your brain can’t seem to remember it all.
And that’s why I jumped on here to write it all down before I forget. I wanted to do these postpartum updates more often, but between the normal craziness of a new baby and the celebrations, it’s been busy.
Jordan has been home this past week and had off a couple days for Christmas. It has been a dream, he takes the girls in the morning so I can sleep. He’s making amazing lunches and dinners every day AND cleaning up. He’s constantly telling me what hard work this is and how proud he is of me.
It’s like a dream, for me at least. He’s taking such good care of us, I’m trying not to think about when he has to go back to work. We were talking tonight about how you need two people home to properly run a household, and we maybe only have it running up to 75 percent.
So, I’ll do my best to access my wonky postpartum brain to catch up on the last few weeks.
note: I just read through this before posting and it’s sugarcoated a little because this past week has been so good, so keep that in mind. It’s been difficult, but overall a million times easier than the first go around with Ruby.
It takes a village
It’s crazy how much help we’ve had, with family coming in an out and wonderful friends bringing meals. When we got home from the hospital we had over two weeks of meals every single day. Sweet friends, we are so, so grateful. It made our lives so much easier, especially since those were the hard weeks where Jordan was working.
Jordan’s mom helped out a lot during that time. She did all the cleaning and took care of ruby so that I could focus on Margot and caring for myself. She also held Margot during her fussy times and did a lot of bouncing, so we could eat dinner.
We also had my family come in for Christmas and Jordan’s for New Years, which ruby loved. It made a lovely break in the caring for a newborn.
This was the biggest thing from the first week, so I will start here. I’m not sure if I shared this, but we took Margot in at the one week mark to weigh her just ourselves at Jordan’s clinic. She was gaining weight, so we felt good about continuing nursing and not supplementing. Jordan is a physician, which is so nice in these circumstances.
Over the second week, nursing wasn’t as painful and continued to improve. I was able to slowly stop using my nipple butter (which I’m certain is the reason I didn’t have any cracks or bleeding this time around – this one is my favorite) and gel soothies (another godsend)
The rest of the weeks have turned into a blur. I kept track of her nursing times when we were having trouble, but I haven’t kept up with it. I barely even look at the clock and feed on demand. It’s still about every 2-3 hours, sometimes 4. Lots of cluster feeding at night, especially around the 3-week mark, which has thankful slowed down a bit.
I am so incredibly thankful that this has gone so smoothly the last few weeks. It is a million times easier than pumping and bottle feeding hands down.
How are you feeling and recovering?
I felt so good the first week that I pushed myself a little too hard. I should have slowed down more. At the start of week two, I had a little scare, I was seeing spots, having more pains, and not feeling well. Even Jordan told me to rest and take it easy. The second week I focused on just that, resting. It helped that I hadn’t caught up on fixer upper and just figured out how to watch hgtv on our tv (thanks Natalie!)
The best thing about newborns is they kind of force you to slow down. When I was tracking how long I was nursing, there were days it was upwards of 6 hours. And Margot most often wants to be held, so we did that. It was sweet to be able to give into the slowness and simple needs of the newborn days, something I didn’t get to do with Ruby.
Resting seemed to do the trick and I was experiencing less cramping and recovering faster. My tail bone still hurts though from our sunny side up baby. I keep asking Jordan if it’s possible that I broke my butt somehow hah
Besides the first part of our first week where she woke up almost every hour, I can’t complain about sleep! I’ve only gotten one 5 hour stretch, which was in the second week, but I do get some four hour stretches often.
She is typically very fussy in the evening. All of week 2 and 3 it felt like she cried from six to eleven. I felt bad for Jordan because he was working then and would come home and it was exhausting. She’s finally conked out around 11 and then wakes up around 3 and then again around 7.
She’s kept up with the same schedule for the most part and this week has been less fussy at night. Still fussy, but a solid improvement.
It seemed like she was going through a growth spurt at the three week mark, so she woke up a little more frequently at night and cluster fed most of the evening. She’s gone back to her normal schedule now.
I try my best not to wake up Jordan at night, especially when he’s working. But, there were some times like the third week where she wouldn’t go right back to sleep at night and he’s the best at getting her to calm down.
We discovered a little trick though. We place a heating pad in her bassinet before bed or while she’s up nursing. When we go to lay her down we take it out and it’s warm and cozy and not such a shock for her because our room is FREEZING.
We also layer on the blankets because it’s so cold in our room. I’m not sure if our sleep sacks are going to cut it when she starts to move. So, if you have any suggestions for a very warm sleep sack with arms, i’m all ears!
How’s ruby handling it all?
There have definitely been some rough moments. As each week passes it has gotten better. Especially the past couple weeks with Jordan home. She loves her sister and wants to hold her often. She’s still a little rough, but knows to be gentle. I feel safer with her now, but still remind her to be gentle a million times.
She loves to help me with Margot. I try my best to get her involved so that she know that she has an important role in raising her as well. She helps with diaper changes, getting her dressed, and even at feedings, haha! It’s not always ‘helpful’ but she lights up when she does. And her throwing away all the diapers is actually awesome.
She’s so sweet with her and loves to sing to her and read her books. She gives her nuzzles (Eskimo kisses) and it’s so sweet to see. She also likes to have her around. I can see just how much she’s going to love having her around as she gets older. Ruby loves being around others and I think she’s going to love having a sister always there.
Her’s Margot’s first bath at home after a major blow out. Super papa to the rescue. Ruby is right there, just cropped out of this image helping.
Weight and self-image
I haven’t lost any more weight, maybe a pound or two, which I wasn’t too excited about, but I also didn’t gain any and it was just Christmas. I guess I’ll call that a win. I’m slowly exiting the postpartum phase of not caring at all and not fully realizing because you’re constantly in pajamas to ‘ok I’m ready to be back in my pants’ phase.
I just recently was a little curious about getting out my jeans to see where I am. I’m hoping to start working out again this next week.
Overall I feel much better this time around. With Ruby, I remember feeling not like myself, like my body wasn’t the same at all. Part of that may have been that it was summer and I could t hide in leggings and giant sweaters.
This time around I also prepared more for a postpartum wardrobe, so I still feel put together and comfy. I also make sure to get ready most days if I can. And I’ve been wearing a belly band and supportive leggings, which helped greatly in supporting everything.
One month for me is kind of the turning point, so we will see how it goes the next few weeks. I gave myself a pass, but now I’m kind of ready, but I know it will take some time and hard work.
Favorite postpartum clothing
So, the Blanqi leggings that I mentioned in my last post are wonderful, but they haven’t held up as well as I hoped. But, I did find a new pair of high-waist leggings from target and they’re only 30 dollars amazing, I wear them every day. They help me to feel a little more put together and I especially love them for nursing since i’m not a big fan of tanks. I picked them up last week so I’ll keep you updated.
Favorite baby item:
It’s hard to narrow down to just one, and but we’ve been loving her little stations that we rotate through. Her bassinet, the dockatot, and the mamaroo. We have one in the rooms we are on. And the solly wrap has been a lifesaver. I’ve used the ring sling a couple of times, but still really love the solly for now. I hope to master the ring sling though and maybe it will get easier as she grows.