I had a nurse who had definitely been doing her job for a while, she was definitely old school. She had rough hands, and was not sympathetic to my whining. My heart rate was so fast. At one point she said something about if I couldn’t handle this, then she doesn’t know what’s going to happen for the birth part.
The things that helped most to get through contractions were lavender oil, pressure on my back, and just crying. lots of crying.
Like I said, I had somewhat of a ‘birth plan’ so I was a little stubborn to keep some of it in tact. I didn’t necessarily want to get an epidural, or really anything. I’m trying to refrain from using the word natural, because it entails a lot more in this realm. But, I did want to keep from doing anything other than what was necessary.
But then, it wasn’t like that. I thought I would have these crazy maternal feeling of love.
I did love her, but I was most struck with a crazy weight of responsibility. And I was crazy obsessed about caring for her and her life.
Thanks for letting me share this. It’s funny the things I remember. I do remember the pain being really bad. But, for me the birth was hardly the toughest part. It was relatively short, a day. And then afterward came the tough part of caring for this newborn. It wasn’t easy, but it was so easy at the same time.